F1 ringmaster Bernie Ecclestone has come up with an ingenious solution to the overtaking problem in F1 – by, erm, building shortcuts on the track.

Ecclestone, speaking at the annual Ferrari pre-season jamboree in the Italian Dolomites, said the shortcut could be used by drivers five times during the race.

“It would be very easy for us, on each circuit, to have an area where you could gain a lot of time, so you could overtake.

“You can imagine a short cut if you like, which a driver can use five times during a race, so it will stop people getting stuck behind somebody.

“I’ve tried to push the teams on this because I don’t think the efforts to increase overtaking are working.”

My thoughts: Clearly, Bernie’s in-flight entertainment was the complete series of Wacky Races that Tamara bought him for Christmas, and I fully expect him to include the following proposals before the season starts:

• A small area at the back of the car for iron tacks, that can be released only once during the race to cause maximum damage to the tyres of an opponent.
• An oil slick button where slippery fluid can be deposited on track to send your rivals into a spin.
• A chassis on stilts, which could lift up at the press of a button, and rivals could ‘drive over’ the car in front on flexible wheel legs that can widen.
• A large boxing glove on a spring hidden in the nose cone to biff off troublesome drivers, compete with novelty ‘kapow’ sound.
• Spikes in the wheel axles that can extend when you are running alongside another car.

There, now wouldn’t that be great – OI…  BERNIE… NO!